Tag Archives: life

Enablers

One of the things that’s bound to come out of Michael Jackson‘s death is a picture that shows how many enablers he had around him. You might have them too, even if you’re not addicted to anything stronger than coffee.

In a clinical sense, enablers are described as third parties who take responsibility, blame, or make accommodations for a person’s harmful conduct. In simple terms, they help you to do something that hurts you, ultimately.  In the benign sense, enablers are “just trying to help”, they say, and it’s no lie. They’re trying to help themselves, not the person they’re enabling.  Giving an addict drugs or access to drugs helps you.  You cement your “friendship” or you benefit financially.  Giving a subordinate advice with thoughts of “how can I get this person back to work” rather than “how can I help?” is a form of enabling as well in my mind.  You’re focused on your needs, not theirs.

Compare this with a facilitator. This is someone who helps people understand their objectives and assists them to plan to achieve them without taking a particular position in the discussion. They’re focused on helping as well, but YOU, not themselves.

Think about it.  Who around you is an enabler – helping themselves in the guise of helping others? Who are the facilitators – the ones helping others without a care for themselves?  Which one are you?

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Filed under Helpful Hints, Reality checks

Did You Say Over?

Animal House

I can hear many of you answering that classic question from Animal House. “Nothing is over until we decide it is!” and despite the subsequent attribution of the Pearl Harbor attack, it’s damn good advice. In fact, we’ve had two incidents this week in the world of sports that bear it out.

There is , of course, a business lesson in there too. Continue reading

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Filed under Helpful Hints, Reality checks, What's Going On

Hi Yo!

I’m sad to read that Ed McMahon has passed away.  For those of us who grew up on Johnny Carson and Ed as a special treat when we could stay up late, it’s really the end of that era.  Unfortunately, too many folks today will remember him for his later work as a solo pitchman rather than his skill as Johnny’s sidekick (and his cry of Hi YO!) but we’d all do well to remember the really important role he played in the success of Johnny and The Tonight Show.  In fact, we’d all do well to remember that none of us, even if we’re as supremely talented as Johnny Carson, can afford to be out there without someone like Ed McMahon. Continue reading

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Filed under Reality checks, Thinking Aloud, What's Going On