Respect

Yet another over 40 friend got the sack yesterday. It had nothing to do with his age nor with his competence. Mostly, like many of my pals who’ve been shown the door over the last few years, it was about a change of direction. As I speak to them, most of my friends had an inkling that something was amiss. Interesting projects were given to others. They weren’t invited to meetings that concerned areas in which they were involved. Certain people seemed to be avoiding them. There are always signs – we just choose to ignore them or we notice and get angry but don’t do much. So here’s a request for both the soon to be terminated and those doing the firing.
How about we all behave like grown-ups?  It’s hard to acknowledge the facts when you’re in jeopardy.  We want to put a good spin on things – oh, the missing meeting invite was an oversight – but a little paranoia is OK, especially in organizations where things are changing, under new management, or business is off.  When you see a job posting that resembles the one you’re in, ask questions.  Don’t get pissed and shrug it off.  That’s one side.  On the other, don’t isolate and diminish and employee.  Even if you’re letting someone go, remember they’re a person – they have feelings and families.  Have the courage to sit them down and explain why you think a change is needed and give them some time to deal with it.  It could be you in that chair one day.

“Employee” is a cold term.  “Co-worker” is a bit more human.   “Person with feelings and a lot of bills to pay” is too damn long but way more accurate and is a lot closer to how managers need to think about the folks who make them and the business go.  I’m not saying everyone is totally competent or right for the job they’re in and that we shouldn’t ever make changes.  I’ve done it and often it’s the best thing for the person as well as for the business.  But there’s a way that minimizes the trauma for both sides as opposed to the way that leaves the person leaving feeling empty, useless, and afraid.

The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale is the list we often see that details “life change units”.  Dismissal from work is #8 in terms of the units that correlate to causing stress and illness.  That’s almost as many as getting married (#7) and more than having a child.  Let’s all keep that in mind.

Been there?  Done that?  Let’s hear about it.