Lots of things have changed over the years since I began my business career. One of the things that has NOT changed for the better is the relaxation of the common courtesies we all call manners. No, I’m not thinking it’s a good idea to return to the age when everyone was Miss Smith and Mr.Jones but I do miss some of the basic principles of manners I was taught, many of which have gone by the wayside, it seems. Continue reading
Tag Archives: Relationships
31!
Today marks our 31st wedding anniversary. I’m proud of lots of things I’ve accomplished, but staying together with the same partner for 31 years is pretty near the top of the list. Looking back, I was just about as old as our eldest daughter is now when I got married and she’s way too young even to be thinking about it (you reading this honey?). Our friends, most of whom have married and divorced, said it wouldn’t last. Ha! Of course, I also draw a lot of comparisons between a successful marriage and a successful business. Continue reading
Filed under Growing up, Helpful Hints, Reality checks
Enablers
One of the things that’s bound to come out of Michael Jackson‘s death is a picture that shows how many enablers he had around him. You might have them too, even if you’re not addicted to anything stronger than coffee.
In a clinical sense, enablers are described as third parties who take responsibility, blame, or make accommodations for a person’s harmful conduct. In simple terms, they help you to do something that hurts you, ultimately. In the benign sense, enablers are “just trying to help”, they say, and it’s no lie. They’re trying to help themselves, not the person they’re enabling. Giving an addict drugs or access to drugs helps you. You cement your “friendship” or you benefit financially. Giving a subordinate advice with thoughts of “how can I get this person back to work” rather than “how can I help?” is a form of enabling as well in my mind. You’re focused on your needs, not theirs.
Compare this with a facilitator. This is someone who helps people understand their objectives and assists them to plan to achieve them without taking a particular position in the discussion. They’re focused on helping as well, but YOU, not themselves.
Think about it. Who around you is an enabler – helping themselves in the guise of helping others? Who are the facilitators – the ones helping others without a care for themselves? Which one are you?
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Filed under Helpful Hints, Reality checks
Consult Keith 