Tag Archives: life

July 9, 2013 · 10:15 am

The Heart Of The Matter

I’ve officially named this day of the week TunesDay. Just as Fridays are for food-related screeds, I’m going to try to stick to music on this day of the week. Forewarned is forearmed!

Don Henley

Of course, since it’s a music day, let me talk about sports (hard to keep up with me, isn’t it?). I read a piece yesterday about Michael Dyer, a former running back who played for Auburn. He was suspended by Auburn in December 2011, late in his sophomore season, for failing a drug test. He’s never been convicted of a crime but has made some incredibly stupid decisions about his friends.  I bring this up because this kid, who has 2 years of eligibility left and is a top player, can’t get a sniff from any school to go play football. Too risky. Too many other choices out there. He damaged his brand and now needs forgiveness.

Which leads to today’s song (you knew I’d get here!).  One of my favorite songs comes from Don Henley and is called “The Heart Of The Matter.”  A live performance is below.  The song is about someone screwing up and asking for forgiveness – not to wipe away the transgression but to heal the wound:

I’ve been tryin’ to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about…forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

I think it’s a beautiful, heartfelt  soliloquy on the subject.  That’s what Dyer is seeking and I think it’s what many businesses end up seeking as well.  The problem is that it’s not always forthcoming, even if the business knew how to ask in terms even half as wonderful as these.

Some business people with whom I’ve worked have felt the “better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission” approach is the preferable way to go.  I disagree.  We live in an age when consumers and clients have access to multiple sources for virtually anything.  Schools can find great running backs – thank you web-based recruiting sites – and vet them carefully.  Who needs to take the risk that an entire program suffers due to one bad apple?

As a brand and a business, the heart of the matter is that behaving honorably – transparently, respecting privacy, keeping the customer’s perspective – negates the need to ask for forgiveness.  It’s not something you want to do, even in terms as nice as these.

Enhanced by Zemanta

1 Comment

Filed under Consulting, Music, Thinking Aloud

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 27, 2013 · 8:58 am

Guest Post: Expiration Dates

My friend Robin is lawyer but I don’t hold that against her (he said, alienating a fair number of his friends…).  She had some really interesting thoughts on the topic of holding on to the past that I asked her to share.  Hopefully you’ll find them as thought-provoking as I did.
Why is it that very few of the finer things in life have never-ending shelf lives? The old vintage bottle of wine…it stays safe and protected, buried deep down in the wine cellar until you decide to dig it out and pop the cork. Then its days are numbered. The time starts ticking away. A lovely French cheese, fresh fruit, and even bright light bulbs, they are all destined to burn out sooner rather than later. Even though you can replace these things, are they as good the second time around?
Why is it that so many things in life are perishable, only at their peak for a short while? More importantly, why do we seem to hold on to things that have long since reached their expiration dates? We know that using expired products is recipe for disaster. It is toxic and unhealthy. We understand that with food, but why doesn’t it click in other areas of our lives – business, relationships, or even wearing that old worn out pair of shoes that hurts our back? Do we honestly need a “good if used by” stamp on everything in our life so we know when to let things go? Would we be better off if there were some predetermined formula to tell us when it’s time to let go?
As I am cleaning out my office, I am amazed at all the “stuff” I have amassed. Most of it has long since expired, even if only in theory. I’m purging the outdated and irrelevant to make room more new possibilities, better opportunities. Why have I spent so much time and energy holding on to things that never really mattered? It is just because there was no expiration date? Because I didn’t know its shelf life? It’s much easier to discard something that has surpassed its expiration date than to make a conscious choice to throw something away without the guidance of a date. That date is like a security blanket.
With dates, there’s no questioning, no second guessing. You just know. You could enjoy things for the time they’re available, regardless of how long or short.  Why do I still have an address book from 2000 and a Rolodex from 2003 (Yes, I trashed both of them)? My office has moved four times since then. Did I seriously cart these things around? They are irrelevant.
If there’s any purpose to carrying around this much baggage, I have no clue what it is.
I think we all can probably do a little cleaning out of our offices and homes, don’t you?  New “stuff” awaits – you just need the room to let it into your life!  Thoughts?
Enhanced by Zemanta

Leave a comment

Filed under Helpful Hints, Reality checks

Tagged as , ,

May 30, 2013 · 8:38 am

The Grind

When you’re done reading this, how about you try writing your own screed?  You don’t have to jump on a fancy CMS or anything – just whip out a pen and your old-fashioned pad or open up a text editor and bang away.  See if you can get to 300 words or so.  Go ahead – I’ll wait.

photo by Randall Niles on Flickr

Done?  That wasn’t so hard I’ll bet – most of us have a thing or two on our minds or at least can assemble a few cogent thoughts about what we had for breakfast or a work-related project.  Maybe it was even fun.  Now do it again.  And again.

Here’s the thing: doing something once can be fun. Doing it day after day can be crushing, especially if it’s not something you enjoy.  Writing isn’t easy for some people just as public speaking terrifies others (and I’ve even known folks for whom speaking to two other people counts as public speaking!).  I enjoy writing almost as much as I enjoy the interaction and feedback I get from lobbing it out there day after day but I’m not going to lie and say that it’s always easy to crank out the screed (which I consider part of my work).  The fact that I enjoy it makes the grind of doing it bearable.

I suspect that what ever “grind” feelings we might harbor about our daily lives they’re compounded by the almost universal feeling that THERE’S JUST NO TIME.  Work never stops since we’re always plugged in.  Social media is a time suck.  Then there’s the other media – TV, music, reading books (remember those?) .  So how does one deal with it?

  • If you’re not happy with your job, start to think about another one.   I know that’s easier said then done but if you don’t start the journey you’ll never get to the destination.
  • Unplug.  Seriously.  Even for a day.  It’s like a big gulp of oxygen and it will all be there when you get back.
  • Change your perspective.  If you’re reading this on a laptop, flip it upside down.  Completely different experience  right?  Look out a window from which you never look out.  Sit in the back seat of your own car and let someone else drive you.  You never know what silly little perspective change will be a major life adjustment (trust me as a guy who’s had a couple).

If it’s not fun more than once,  stop doing whatever it is before it becomes a grind.  You see, at some point anything we do over and over does become one.  In my mind, what’s getting ground is our spirit and our souls and we need to keep those around.  What do you think?

Enhanced by Zemanta

2 Comments

Filed under Thinking Aloud, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , ,