Category Archives: food

Gout, Seriously

It’s Foodie Friday, and this week’s topic is the very serious business of the very serious food magazines. I was reminded of this by something Eater.com does every so often, which is to publish the cover of a mock foodie rag called Gout. You can see the covers here and here. While it may look like a legit food magazine, with article titles such as “Summer! It literally comprises 1/4 of every year but we’re going to explain all the food as if you’ve never previously considered grilling burgers before!” it clearly isn’t.

One of the articles – “Vodka – it’s cool again!!! (unrelatedly, Grey Goose bought the back cover ad)” points to the problem we’ve talked about numerous times here on the screed.  It’s reinforced with the “An editor we’re trying really hard to turn into a celebrity writes about his trip to Uruguay as if it weren’t fully comped”.  When ad and edit become indistinguishable and readers begin to wonder if what they’re reading is a version of the truth someone is paying for you to see, we have a problem.  As an aside, this isn’t just an issue with food magazines – I’ve never much believed equipment reviews in golf magazines since I’ve never seen a bad review of anything.  Funny how that works when 90% of your revenue is from equipment companies…

But that rant isn’t my point today.  What Eater has done here is something we all need to do a lot more often: poke fun at ourselves.  After all, unless we really are brain surgeons, EMT’s, firefighters or a few other professions, it’s not as if what most of us do is life or death.  In fact, I’ve often said that the best part of my job is that if I screw up, nobody dies.

Business is hard.  It can be horrible sometimes.  It is very serious most of the time. Because of that, every so often we all need to do what Eater has done – recognize the silly stuff inherent in our industry, and laugh.  Honestly, while a great meal may leave you happy and satisfied, a good laugh is better for your health.

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Fake

Small tomatoes in Korea

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This Foodie Friday Fourth of July, let’s get real about fakes.  I was shopping for tomatoes the other day.  They had some beautiful looking specimens at the market and I knew from a lot of sad experience that they would be tasteless.  They probably came out of a hothouse hundreds of miles from where they were being sold. Unfortunately, they were typical of a lot of modern foods but they make a broader business point.

Our industrialized food production system has managed to remove a lot of the natural flavors of things.  Why?  Because we want things like tomatoes year-round, we have to transport them further, and in many cases, we have completely “fake” foods to which flavors n=must be added for them to taste like anything remotely worth eating.  This is from a talk by a UPenn doctoral candidate:

Berenstein began by narrating synthetic flavors’ earliest and biggest coup: turning vanilla from a coveted luxury good into a synonym for the bland and everyday. For two hundred years after its introduction to the West, vanilla was a precious commodity. Artificial pollination helped increase the global supply by allowing the plant to grow outside its native Mexico, but the real turning came in the 1870s, when scientists cracked the molecular structure of vanillin—and opened the floodgates for the manufacturing of synthetic vanilla flavor.

I think fake foods and flavors have peaked because consumers want the real thing and it’s not just in their food choices.  The desire for authenticity is now a constant in most businesses. Customers quickly recognize when we brands are faking it.  I like this explanation from someone writing in Ad Age:

Authenticity involves an emotional connection with an audience, and that connection is forged over years through consistency. Consistency builds trust and integrity. Ignoring the reality of your audience’s world, trying to be something you’re not, or telling customers what you think they want to hear quickly deteriorates trust and erodes integrity.

When we make our businesses more efficient for us, we might just be removing the flavor the customers crave.  It’s no longer real. Something that sort of tastes like what you took out what do.  Like that hothouse tomato, I’m not buying.  Would you?

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Caught In The Storm (Part 2)

Yesterday, we began our Foodie Friday Fun with my description of a bad customer experience and the lessons learned.  Today I’ll continue the tale with what happened after I ended up in an Irish Pub due to a blown reservation and a nasty storm.

Having been seated in a nearly empty pub, I waited for a server to appear.  The fellow who showed up had little energy and stood there wordlessly awaiting a drink order.  I asked about “espresso vodka” (don’t judge) and was told they didn’t serve espresso or cappuccino.  That was not a good sign.  I ordered a black and tan, something that’s a staple of any Irish place.  “No draft beer at all.  It’s a building problem.”   After ordering something very simple to drink, I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I looked into the bar area – it was pretty empty.

Eventually my drink and server appeared.  I asked about specials – there was a “catch of the day” on the menu as well as a couple of other dishes that changed daily.  “We don’t have any – just what’s on the menu.”  I made my mind up then and there that I would have a little something to tide me over and head elsewhere for supper.  The artichoke and crab dip that showed up was badly made (chunks of unmelted cream cheese, very little crab or artichoke) and delivered to the table warm, not hot.  I can’t blame Mr. Personality for the food but it was his lack of attention and knowledge that changed my mind about staying, costing his employer a larger check and him a larger tip.

After the storm, I walked across the street  to the local iteration of Brio, where I met James.  I had barely taken my seat when he appeared (in a fairly full place) to offer me a drink, comment on the storm, and begin to tell me about the menu.  I asked for a wine list and it appeared in a few seconds, along with a few suggestions about what was well-priced and delicious.  The rest of the meal went the same way – highly competent service delivered with an engaging personality.  It was so good that I asked him who had trained him.  He told me he had gone to college for a degree in hospitality.  Boy did it show!  He also asked if I would tell his manager which, of course, I agreed to do.  It was the only time that James wasn’t squarely focused on me.

These were two diametrically opposed service experiences.  In one place the server had such a negative effect that I left and the business lost revenue.  In the other I ordered a dish I might not have otherwise, tipped extremely well, and left impressed by the professionalism of the entire operation.  It reinforced everything  I believe about proper training, good management, employees for whom the business was a career and not just a job (James was not waiting tables while looking for a “real” job) and customer care being a direct route to more revenue.  Was it the best Italian food I’ve ever had?  No.  The food was very good but it certainly was one of the best service experiences and it made the food better as well as the evening a lot more enjoyable.

The night ended with a dessert sent over by the manager with his compliments.  Believe me, the pleasure was all mine.  I’ll leave highly positive reviews around the web but I’m hoping you take away the business points I did.  Amazing how in the space of 2 hours one can see both ends of the service spectrum!

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