Monthly Archives: March 2014

March 10, 2014 · 9:08 am

Calling Customers Stupid Is…

I love it when some company makes my life a little easier and provides the fodder for a post here on the screed. This time it was a car dealer here in town that provided that for us today.

You callin' me stupid?

You callin’ me stupid?

If you’ll look over at the graphic you’ll see what was in my email yesterday.  This was just the graphic part of the email – there was quite a bit of copy that dug the hole a little deeper.  It read:

Drop by our dealership any time during our regular service hours, even without an appointment, and we’ll adjust your vehicle’s clock for you — free of charge. While you’re here, make sure your vehicle weathered the winter and is ready for warm-weather excursions, with an optional multi-point inspection (please call for availability). Don’t waste any more time; visit our dealership and let us help you prepare for the days ahead. We look forward to serving you!

In other words, you’re too dumb to know how to change the clock on the car we sold you.  Let’s put aside the fact that the real purpose of bringing you in is that “multi-point inspection” which may or may not be free.  If you’re going to reach out to your customer base, shouldn’t the  basis of that offer be something of real value to the customer?  Maybe the email should have been instructions on how to change the clock over to daylight savings with an offer to do it for the customer if they’ll bring the car in?  That is providing value – this is an obvious ploy to get people to the service department.  Giving the instructions lets the customer solve the problem (to the extent there really is a problem) in a matter of a few minutes.  This way means the customer needs to take the time to go to the dealer and wait for a service person – a longer process.  The first solution helps the customer; the second is designed to help you.

If we’re going to be helpful to our customers, we should do so in a way that’s customer focused.  My immediate response here is that they think I’m stupid and calling customers stupid is…well…dumb!  Of course, these guys are pretty dumb themselves.  I sold the car they want me to bring in (back to them so they’re very aware) years ago.  They’ve obviously not updated their customer mailing list into “past” and “current” owners in quite some time (I sold the car seven years ago).  Who’s calling whom stupid now?

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March 7, 2014 · 9:59 am

Getting Your Business On A Scale

One of the most basic kitchen skills is our topic this Foodie Friday: measuring.  If you cook, at some point you use standard measures – cups, tablespoons and such.  Even those chefs you see on TV grabbing pinches of salt know how much they’re pinching (you use your thumb and one finger, then two fingers, then three fingers and measure each result to have a sense).

English: Kitchen scale, electronic, household ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Baking, which is basically chemistry, requires very precise measuring to ensure success.  Sometimes, however, something doesn’t come out the way you’d like even though you measure carefully and that’s our topic today.

If you ask 10 people to measure out a cup of flour and then weigh each result, you’ll find that there is a huge variance in the amount of flour.  That can be fatal to a cake or in making pasta.  One thing I find incredibly useful in my kitchen is a scale.  I use it for cooking as much as I do baking (OK, I really don’t bake) and I seek out recipes where the measures are by weight and not just volume.  After all, the cup of grated cheese called for in a recipe could be finely grated and weigh more or relatively coarsely grated and weigh a lot less.  100 grams, however, is always 100 grams.  I find recipes that call for “1 medium onion, chopped” or “two ripe bananas” to be pretty useless since what I consider a medium onion or the size of those bananas may vary considerably from what the author had in mind.

It’s incredibly useful to have standardized measurements that are truly standard when you’re trying to get the best results.  Which is, of course, the business point.  One thing I spend a lot time with clients on is identifying and measuring the business in a standardized, objective manner.  Putting up a new website may cause you to think it looks better but that’s not measurable.  What is measurable and actionable are thing such as bounce rates, time on site, page views, and conversions.  If the new site causes those metrics to improve, it’s a better website.

The same is true about other business elements.  Presentations that look nice and flow well are good; presentations that result in decisions made in the presenter’s favor are excellent.  “Look and feel” is the cup of flour.  Data driven decisions are flour measured on a scale.   If you want success in the kitchen, get a scale.  If you want it in business, find ways to take subjectivity out of the process.  You with me?

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March 6, 2014 · 10:42 am

How Many Nakamotos Are There In Your Business?

You may have heard of Bitcoin.

The bitcoin logo

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s a digital currency which, depending on your point of view, is either the greatest thing since the transistor or a giant Ponzi scheme. It was invented by someone named Satoshi Nakamoto. It’s a hugely volatile currency but is beginning to gain acceptance by merchants as a payment method for goods and services. It’s not small either: there were transactions of nearly $500 million a day at its peak. With me so far?

The weird thing about Bitcoin is that no one knew who this Nakamoto guy was. Rumors ranged from he was a young whiz kid programmer living in Japan to an “entity” that is a composite of a number of people who worked on the project.  Nakamoto owns about $400 million in Bitcoin yet won’t talk on the telephone so people who work with him have never heard his voice.  In fact, many people wondered if Nakamoto was his name at all since lots of folks in the Bitcoin community use pseudonyms.  He (and Bitcoin) have been the subject of much discussion and analysis on tech blog and programs yet other than swapping rumors no one seemed to be checking this guy out.

Along comes  Leah McGrath Goodman of Newsweek who does some good old-fashioned reporting.  She found the 64 year old Nakamoto living in California very quietly.  She wrote this piece about the process and the man she found at the end of the trail.  It’s a great read, great journalism and, more importantly, makes our business point today.

Many businesses have “Nakamotos” – important people or facts or policies about which little is known.  There is uncertainty about how they came to be or how they operate.  There are a lot of rumors but very little fact-checking.  That’s not smart business.  This reporter’s commitment to pursuing the facts as opposed to repeating rumors or unverified “facts” resulted in solving the mystery.  Frankly, it gives me a bit (pun intended) more faith in the Bitcoin system now that I understand who this fellow is.

We need to unearth the Nakamotos in business and not be deterred by the common wisdom.  The truth is generally hiding in plain sight but you have to be looking in order to see it.  Are you?

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